A Tad Bit ‘Bout Life

I have decided to dedicate another post entirely to humorous quotes, videos, and jokes by the brilliant comedian Tommy Cooper. Enjoy!

TOMMY COOPER-

(19 March 1921 – 15 April 1984) was an Anglo-Welsh prop comedian and magician. He was known for making an art of getting magic tricks wrong, although he was actually an accomplished magician. He has been the subject of efforts by people in Caerphilly to publicize the town as his birthplace.

Despite his purported inability to perform conjuring tricks, Cooper was a member of The Magic Circle. Famed for his red fez, his appearance was large and lumbering at 6ft 3in (1.91m) and more than 15 stone in weight. He had a range of facial expressions and would also say things like, “I must say you’ve been a wonderful audience” or “Have we got time for more?” immediately after he walked on stage that would convulse audiences with laughter. He had a host of catchphrases such as “Spoon, jar, jar, spoon!!” and “Whisky, sample, sample, whisky, sample…” His most quoted catchphrase “Just like that” has never been on film. He once stood for minutes behind the curtain at the start of a televised show, and the audience, knowing he was there, was laughing hard before he even appeared. “People were laughing, just standing in line, for the tickets to see him” has often been quoted. (Wikipedia)

 Some Jokes Of His

Went to the paper shop – it had blown away.

I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.

I was in the attic the other day with the wife. Damp and dusty………but she’s great with the kids!

Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other ‘Your round.’ The other one says ‘so are you, you

fat slob’

Two cannibals eating a clown. One says to the other “Does this taste funny to you?”

Man goes to the doc, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says “I’ll give you some cream to put on it.”

A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, “Well, I can clearly see you’re nuts.”

So I said to this Chinese waiter, “Are there any Chinese Jews”, so he went away and when he came back he said, “No, there’s only apple juice, pineapple juice…

I slept like a log last night. I woke up in a fireplace…

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: ‘Can I help, sir?’ ‘No thanks,’ says the blind bloke. ‘Just looking.’

My wife had a go at me last night She said “You’ll drive me to my grave”. “I had the car out in thirty seconds”

I went to the doctor. He said “you’ve got a very serious illness” I said “I want a second opinion” He said “all right, you’re ugly as well”

I hurt my back the day. I was playing piggy back with my 6 year old nephew, and I fell off.

I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone.

This man says to me “my dog’s got no nose” So I said to him “How does he smell?” “Terrible”

And he said “My dog doesn’t eat meat.” I said “Why not?” He said “We don’t give him any”

A man walked into the doctor’s, he said “I’ve hurt my arm in several places.” The doctor said “Well don’t go there any more.”

Do watch the attached movie:

Tommy Cooper \”Magic Cloak\” 

     Humor must be one of the greatest things on this planet. Without it, we would be a bunch of dull, moronic creatures. In fact, I don’t think we could live without humor. We would become so boring and serious that we wouldn’t be able to hold the stress any longer, and would die. According to the Journal of the American Medical Association, without laughter, we would in fact die, because two parts of our brain, the hippocampus and the amygdala, need humor, whether primitive or advanced, simply to live. The act of laughing releases endorphins, which trigger happiness, or feelings of joy. What a terrible world it would be if there wasn’t Rowan Atkinson as Mr. Bean or Blackadder, or Laurel & Hardy, Eddie Murphy, and all those great laughable figures. With humor, we can laugh and cry, release excessive stress, make friends, and feel genuinely happy.    

     According to Wikipedia, humor is “the tendency of particular images, stories or situations to provoke laughter and provide amusement. Many theories exist about what humour is and what social function it serves. Yet, people of all ages and cultures respond to humour and most people share a common sense of humour.

     The term derives from the humoral medicine of the ancient Greeks, which stated that a mix of fluids known as humours (Greek: χυμός, chymos, literally: juice or sap, metaphorically: flavour) controlled human health and emotion.”There are billions of humor types in the world, but no one appreciates every one of them. As Mahatma Ghandi said: “If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.” A developed sense of humor is not only part of one’s entertainment, but a necessary part of life. To find humor in the most difficult situations is to be a truly positive and cheerful person. To stimulate your own sense of humor, I have included a few quotes. They read as follows. 

“Marijuana? It’s harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it.” – Bill Bailey 

“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” – Homer Simpson   

“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said ‘Parking Fine.’ So that was nice.” – Tim Vine  

“Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It’s either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it’s Colin.” – Tim Vine  

“But I’ll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.” – Tim Vine  

“So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said ‘Who’s speaking please?’ And a voice said ‘You are.” – Tommy Cooper