I have decided to dedicate another post entirely to humorous quotes, videos, and jokes by the brilliant comedian Tommy Cooper. Enjoy!
TOMMY COOPER-
(19 March 1921 – 15 April 1984) was an Anglo-Welsh prop comedian and magician. He was known for making an art of getting magic tricks wrong, although he was actually an accomplished magician. He has been the subject of efforts by people in Caerphilly to publicize the town as his birthplace.
Despite his purported inability to perform conjuring tricks, Cooper was a member of The Magic Circle. Famed for his red fez, his appearance was large and lumbering at 6ft 3in (1.91m) and more than 15 stone in weight. He had a range of facial expressions and would also say things like, “I must say you’ve been a wonderful audience” or “Have we got time for more?” immediately after he walked on stage that would convulse audiences with laughter. He had a host of catchphrases such as “Spoon, jar, jar, spoon!!” and “Whisky, sample, sample, whisky, sample…” His most quoted catchphrase “Just like that” has never been on film. He once stood for minutes behind the curtain at the start of a televised show, and the audience, knowing he was there, was laughing hard before he even appeared. “People were laughing, just standing in line, for the tickets to see him” has often been quoted. (Wikipedia)
Some Jokes Of His
Went to the paper shop – it had blown away.
I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
I was in the attic the other day with the wife. Damp and dusty………but she’s great with the kids!
Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other ‘Your round.’ The other one says ‘so are you, you
fat slob’
Two cannibals eating a clown. One says to the other “Does this taste funny to you?”
Man goes to the doc, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says “I’ll give you some cream to put on it.”
A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, “Well, I can clearly see you’re nuts.”
So I said to this Chinese waiter, “Are there any Chinese Jews”, so he went away and when he came back he said, “No, there’s only apple juice, pineapple juice…
I slept like a log last night. I woke up in a fireplace…
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: ‘Can I help, sir?’ ‘No thanks,’ says the blind bloke. ‘Just looking.’
My wife had a go at me last night She said “You’ll drive me to my grave”. “I had the car out in thirty seconds”
I went to the doctor. He said “you’ve got a very serious illness” I said “I want a second opinion” He said “all right, you’re ugly as well”
I hurt my back the day. I was playing piggy back with my 6 year old nephew, and I fell off.
I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone.
This man says to me “my dog’s got no nose” So I said to him “How does he smell?” “Terrible”
And he said “My dog doesn’t eat meat.” I said “Why not?” He said “We don’t give him any”
A man walked into the doctor’s, he said “I’ve hurt my arm in several places.” The doctor said “Well don’t go there any more.”
Do watch the attached movie:
Tags: comedians, fez, funny, hilarious, humor, humour, jokes, oneliners, tommy cooper
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